My Bloody Valentine (1981)
My Bloody Valentine is a footnote in the slasher craze of the 1980s, it has its rabid cult fanbase but beyond its novel set-up (Valentine’s Day), its killer’s novel attire (miner’s gear complete with a gas mask, helmet, and pickaxe), and its novel kill (a lady is put into a clothes dryer and cooked) there’s not much to grasp onto here.
The story, as told by this absolutely great faux-folk song goes that a group of miners were trapped in a cave-in when the two young men who were keeping watch top-side left to go to the Valentine’s Day dance. When the miners were dug out, only one man had survived having turned to cannibalism and gone insane. The following year when Valentine’s Day rolled around, the miner, Harry Warden went on a killing spree and the town stopped celebrating the holiday until years later when someone decides to restart the festivities and the killings begin anew.
There’s a few things to love here beyond the ones I mentioned up top. There’s a pretty solid sequence taking place in the mine itself toward the end and the kills are pretty creative, but the film was hacked to ribbons and most of the gore effects were removed. They’ve since been restored but the film quality on those missing bits is noticeably worse than the remastered footage of the rest of the movie.
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
My Bloody Valentine 3D follows the story beats of the original pretty closely. We still have Harry Warden, a mine, a mystery, and some creative kills (including Chekhov’s clothes dryer). There’s no folk song, the tone’s a little more arch, but we’ve got Tom Atkins, the plot’s more compelling. My Bloody Valentine 3D is also the only movie that is worth watching in 3D. There’s a lot of fun, goofy gags that complement the 3D process and it was shot the right way and not post-converted later as became the trend later on.
Is it a good remake?
Yes it is. My Bloody Valentine is the perfect movie for a remake because it’s got good concepts but is mostly unremarkable, it’s a missed opportunity. And My Bloody Valentine realizes most of the those opportunities. The kills are a tad bit pickaxe-centric but all suitably brutal in a fun way and the characters are more interesting than their 80s counterparts. The movie also manages to be funny from time to time, not enough to be a horror comedy, but enough to be charming.
Does it stand on its own?
Absolutely. There are of course nods to the original movie but My Bloody Valentine 3D is firmly its own movie with its own ideas and agendas. This is a true remake in that it’s another shot at the same idea, not a hollow tribute that makes you wish you were watching the original.
Watch, Toss, or Buy?
Buy it.