TROUBLE CITY

BOX OFFICE IMPOTENCE

Movie NewsDan VintonComment

Crap.Looks like the Box Office will be taking a big fat codwallop to the brown this weekend. The last weekend in April is traditionally slow, but hoooo-wee. Few were expecting so much wind-sucking.

On the Friday before Spider-Man 3's box office bonanza, approximately not very many people went to see movies. Whether they're saving coin for the big butter cauldron o' corn next weekend or protesting Stone Cold Steve Austin in a starring role, viewer apathy allowed Disturbia to bring in a Friday, April 27th high of a paltry $3.1 million, while everything else nosedived behind it. Being generous with an average $8 ticket, that's roughly 375,000 butts in seats for what looks to be the number one movie for the third weekend in a row. And that's spread across tens of thousands of screens.

The Invisible did about $2.9 million and Cage/Biel's Next, which was tracking for $14 million and a number one take, made less than half its prediction with about $6 million. Rough. Where were all you Biel ass-lovers on that one? Man.

Speaking of rough, WWE needs to get straight of the filmmaking biz as The Condemned completes the triumvirate of movies starring wrestlers no one wants to see in movies. With about a $1 million opening on Friday, it'll be lucky to barely make the top 10. Kickin' It Old School, with a $900k Friday, will simply just fade away.

Box Office master Andre Dellamorte will have the full rundown for you in short order, but as he so eloquently put it, "The story is people didn't go see shit."

Amen.