TROUBLE CITY

A DAPPER VISION OF A STARK HERO

Movie NewsRuss FischerComment

 Clothes really make the man. The half of our species with external reproductive organs gets a little flush when we see new images of men in metal suits. Meanwhile for some of the people born with a pair of ovaries (instead of this little ovarian nub the drunks down at the research institute are still at a loss to explain) a tux is the sort of clothes that make you want to make out with a man. If you know what I mean.

When the man in the tux is Robert Downey, Jr., sometimes I think about pretending I’ve got that pair of ovaries. If you know what I mean. Who needs metal underwear?

So, if you’re possessed of an easily excitable sexual nature, maybe it’s best not to look at this photo of Tony Stark attending an official function in a monkey suit. At least I think it’s Stark – could just be RDJ at the Golden Globes, though the carefully sculpted facial hair suggests otherwise. Only a dance choreographer or a drunk hero with access to laser-based hair equipment can do that. Regular guys like RDJ just have Schick.

Click the photo or the end of this sentence to get on over to UGO to see the man full size.