Movie NewsDan VintonComment paid to do chicks. Short of getting paid to conduct breast exams for the 35 and not obese crowd, could there be anything finer? I dare say no. And Michael Baisden knows it-- dude makes a living writing and talking about it.

To be honest, I'd never heard of Michael Baisden, who, after surveying his novels and website, feels like a cross between Dr. Phil, Pimp McGigolo and Danielle Steele. Either way, Michael's latest book The Maintenance Man, was just snatched up by Screen Gems, thanks to their recent focus on "urban programming", which I guess is corporate niche-speak for targeting African-American audiences. I'm not African, but I am American, so I can halfway say this movie is for chicks who like Lifetime Originals and can officially count me out. Behold:

When Julliard graduate Malcolm can't get a job, he starts pimpin' his sausage (Note from Micah: No, Dan….just no) as a high priced Gigolo. Naturally, the ladies love his smooth moves and the way he makes them feel like a woman again--- but damn it feels weird to be a Bangsta. See, Malcolm's feeling a little guilty about handing out the promiscuously hot lovin' when he meets the wonderful and inspiring Toni (with an "I"!). Insert drama as a few more subplots involve Malcolm's friend and his creepin' woman, a club called Obsession (Atlanta's hottest, naturally- just ask Nick) and a man-stripper who enjoys the fat cash ladies stuff in his banana hammock coupled with the bank accounts they come from. It's a web of deceit, egocentricism and all that kind of stuff some ladies love to read on the subway in New York. Just ask Devin.

Baisden will write the script with help from Ralph Farquhar, penman of Moesha and The Parkers. Interestingly, the book was self-published and has already been turned into a popular stage play and DTV experience. "Interesting" because this book has been living a life of its own for almost 10 years (it was published in 1999). "Ly" because this kind of soap operatic stuff, is, as I mentioned, for chicks and die-hard fans of Danielle Steele's tales of trauma. And I'm neither.

However, if you are, don't feel bad- just look for more news on a release date and director in the coming weeks and months.