Movie NewsDevin FaraciComment announcement that Fox is going to make a feature film – presumably live action – based on The Sims video game is just the latest example of what the real purpose of optioning properties is (ABC picking up the Cavemen sitcom is another example): it’s all about name recognition. Rod Humble, head of the Sims Studio and the guy managing the property for Electronic Arts says: "'The SIMS has done an interactive version of an old story, which is what it's like to have infinite power and how do you deal with it… Given that that's an old story, you can imagine how easily that would translate to traditional story telling," but the truth is that nobody involved gives a shit about the story aspect. It’s all about doing a Google search and seeing the hits, or looking at the sales figures of the games, or seeing what a poll of certain desirable demographics turns up.

I mean, seriously, have you ever played The Sims and said “The process of furnishing this house would make a kick ass movie!”? Of course not – the game is non-narrative and the basic conceit is just LIVING, albeit with pixilated private parts. Any narrative aspect – in this case, having supreme Godlike power – is being imposed from above, and could just as easily be made into a movie without the rights to The Sims. But then it wouldn’t have the instant recognition The Sims gives it.

The original Pirates of the Caribbean proved to me that the worst concepts can become pretty good movies, so I’m not writing off The Sims in any way. And if the characters in the movie all talk in Simlish, I’ll put the fucking thing on my top ten of the year just for the hell of it. But let’s not accept Humble’s bullshit: this decision came from a calculator, not a word processor.