TROUBLE CITY

SPRECHEN SIE DEUTCH, DANE?

Movie NewsJeremy SmithComment

http://chud.com/nextraimages/danecook.jpgWe'll have to wait to see what happens to Good Luck Chuck (directed by the editor of the magnificent Stone Cold), but it looks like Dane Cook's career as a comedic lead will be limited to Lionsgate developed vehicles. This is why you don't steal jokes, kids. A comedian with as much stage presence as Cook should know better; he should've been combing clubs for a writer long before it came to this. But he went and ripped off one of the most respected comics working today, and now he's a pariah.

I will admit, however, that I liked Cook prior to learning of his thievery, and still consider him a potentially solid supporting performer (he's not unconvincing as a scumbag in Mr. Brooks). But having watched a full twenty minutes of Employee of the Month before shutting off the DVD in disgust, I'm convinced that he'll never be a viable movie star; he's completely bereft of genuine charisma. And, yet, this won't stop Lionsgate from taking another shot at riding the Dane Train. In the interview I ran yesterday, Cook mentioned Bachelor #2, in which he'll play a misanthrope named Tank who mistreats women in order to drive them back to their boyfriends. If they go in an unapologetically misogynistic direction with this premise, it could be great; instead, Lionsgate is in "final negotiations" with Howard Deutch to direct.

I have a friend who's already emailing me about the wondrousness of Pretty in Pink, its inverse Some Kind of Wonderful and The Great Outdoors, so please refrain from littering the corresponding message board entry with defenses of these movies (which John Hughes probably "saved" in editing anyway). If you're misguided enough to think Deutch is worthy of being called a merely terrible director, I'll just ask that you watch The Replacements, The Whole Ten Yards and/or The Odd Couple II (bonus points for wasting Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau late in their careers). If you're still willing to make a case for Deutch after that, please book a fight with Kimbo Slice at your nearest convenience.

Bachelor #2 is written by Jordan B. Cahan and will be produced by lots of fucking people. Principal photography should commence in August.