A Nice Hard Slap - Doppeltracheotomygängers!!

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A Nice Hard Slap - Doppeltracheotomygängers!!  

There's a pilot for a Sci-Fi Original Series in here somewhere...

Iwas at lunch the other day and saw a dead ringer for a friend of mine. I mean, a serious dead ringer. Same bone structure, hairstyle, height, frame, and even the same sparkle to the eye. Except they had a tracheotomy tube sticking from their neck. Pretty fucking weird.

Then, two days ago I saw Sarah Silverman. At least the Crisis on Infinite Earths version of Sarah Silverman, the one with a tracheotomy tube sticking out of her neck. Two lookalikes. Two necktubes.  Something is happening beneath the surface of the fabric of reality and I Want To Believe.

The new X-Files movie would have tripled its business if Fox and Dana researched the secret strain of doppelgängers, this race of seemingly innocuous human beings with a breezeway in the throat. These superficially harmless beings who have ingratiated themselves into society, living amongst us but with a new hole all their own. To breathe the future air of a defeated ozone layer? To communicate with the Mother Brain on Zebes? To sip Mountain Dew without mussing the lip gloss? My research is incomplete, though I will return to Outpost 31 once the mess is cleaned up with the snow and the base and the dogs and shit.

In the meantime I feel it's my task to warn you that there's a very good chance that there's another you out there. Resting. Thinking. Breathing painlessly through their amazing throathole. Each of us has a Doppeltracheotomygänger. If you find it, kill it first. There will be no second chance.

- Nick Nunziata has a stoma ache.

Before I go, here's the latest thing I'm adding to the blog. Each day I blog I'll have a song, a piece of artwork, a photo, a Mary Worth, or something to further justify your click and to give the trolls a little more ammo. Today, an old PKG instrumental, Last Transmission. The last track from The All Devouring Beast, circa 2004.

Drums, Guitar - Micah     Keys - Nick