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MCP: RANDOM SETTING

Master Control ProgramJon CassidyComment

MCP

While not the most important news in the gaming world, here are some tidbits that may have fallen through the cracks from the past few days:

Originally filed under “Inevitable” at the Sony records office, Sony President Ryoji Chubachi acknowledged that Sony will not rule out the possibility of lowering the price of the PS3 “in the future” or as alternatively translated, “in November.” With lower production costs, facing massive losses and colossal PR blunders, it looks like Sony finally decided to bite the bullet and will allow me to buy a Blu-Ray machine that also plays games.

Of course with good news coming out of Sony, something had to go wrong. A PS3 ad in South Africa depicting a man with a black eye, scratches, stitches and stab wounds, with the words underneath: “STOCKS ARE LIMITED. THINGS COULD GET UGLY” was banned. Don’t worry, the picture wasn’t of Stephen Biko. The ad was clearly offensive, because we all know that supplies are far from limited. Oh and the violence.

I’m fascinated by Sony’s marketing company. Do they get laughed at during meetings, like a guy who farts during a client lunch? I would love to see the ads they reject? Are they ultra-violent with someone’s throat being slashed with a SIXAXIS controller or are the too tame, with families sitting around the old tube enjoying a game of, um, what are the big PS3 games these days? Safety operations at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant (seasons 9 – 38) are run better.

Oh don’t worry 360, I haven’t forgotten about you. Joystiq recently recounted the story of a New York cop, who working off his fourth 360 since launch (which sadly, is a pretty decent track record), was told that the servicing of his 360 would be delayed because . . . wait for it . . . Microsoft was running low on 360 shipping boxes (aka 360 Coffins). “Yeah, we’re low on boxes, but that because we only started with like 6 or something. Our failure rates are miniscule!” Microsoft should just start sending out chips like they give out at AA. “30 Days - no red lights.”

Amazingly, and now I’m jinxing it, my 360 has been doing fine through this entire Halo 3 Beta experience. Of course my 360 hasn’t stopped taunting me displaying messages like “are you really going to pick up that Sniper Rifle, fatboy? I think C0CK RAMM3R 6969 might be better suited.” And yes it’s 360’s fault that I suck at Halo. Has to be.

Finally, CBS Sports decided to pick up the 2007 World Series of Gaming. Unless the first words of the broadcast are “I’m Kevin Harlan” or “I’m Gus Johnson” there is no reason to watch. Actually, watching Dick Enberg going from the first America sports broadcaster to go to China to calling a preliminary match-up of Quake 4 would be funny just to see him scream “this is worse than working with Dierdorf” and storm off.

By the way, who the fuck is watching this? I can’t stand watching other people play video games. Watching a tape of a fast Super Mario Run or some glitch might be fun for a minute or two, but a full-on competition? Fuck you.

Also are they going to do back-stories on there people, showing clips of them reaching the World Series? If I want to see lame trash talking by some out of shape loser with potato chip grease on his hands, I can look in the mirror.

For the record one of the four games during the competition is World of Warcraft. How do you compete in that game, see who can’t get laid for the longest? Who can be the most socially awkward? Nothing says excitement than watching a character mine gold. Pat Summerall must be spinning in his grave.

I can see the ads now: the Super Bowl, the Final Four and the World Series of Gaming, on CBS!

I'm going to try to make this a weekly thing, but that’s all for now.