TROUBLE CITY

Ask Skeletor: Part the first.

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Greetings pathetic Humans.

While my henchmen put the finishing touches to my latest (and greatest) plan to possess the power of Greyskull I have taken the time to answer the first batch of your miserable problems. It pleases me to be able to impart some of my vast wisdom among you and I hope that in some way my thoughts will improve your pathetic lives.

So without further ado bring on the snivling....

Jasonatrent asks....

What is the tax structure in the fiefdom a round Castle Greyskull? Aside from Evil, what are its primary exports/resources? The GNP? The annual rate of growth? How will your media treat the  ”Occupy Greyskull’ movement?

Dear Jasonatrent

At the moment Greyskull  forms part of that idiot King Randor's kingdom. I have no idea what his exports are but I suspect he does not tax his subjects nearly enough.  His pathetic tatic of keeping them happy means they do not work hard enough to improve the economey in any meaningful way.  They would rather be poor and happy than under my yolk while the kingdom prospers.

As for the media, it is run by the liberals and is firmly in Randor's smug bearded pocket. One day though they will all cower in fear at my very name......

Mike's Pants asks...

Lord Skeletor.

There is a village two townships from my castle. Their very existence offends me, yet they do not fear me. How can I show them my might? How can I get them to quiver at the mere mention of the name "Mike's Pants"?

Dear Mike's Pants.

A good start would be to kidnap the children of royal family. I would suggest you achive this by teaming up with a more established villian and then double cross him at the last minute.  That way you will increase the fear and respect this plan will gain you.  Heed this advice well my friend and soon you will hear the words "Curse you Mike's Pants"  echoing throughout the land.

Gabe T asks...

Skeletor;  Is the 50-50 revenue split the right prescription for the NBA's next collective bargaining agreement?

Dear Gabe T

No.

There should be no bargaining with anyone. Instead the NBA sould eqquip themselves with disintergration rays and obliterate people untill their demands are met.

SD Bob Plissken asks....

His Majesty Skeletor;  Are you the Bennett to He-Man's John Matrix?

Dear SD Bob Plissken.

Bennet was a fool and wanted to face Matrix alone, I would never be so unwise. Nor for that matter would I ever wear a chain mail vest when I had allowed my stomach to grow so big.  I did however admire the tatic of  kidnapping the girl  and sending wave upon wave of henchmen in first, that showed some promise. Although he should have hit Matrix with a shrink ray or some such device before the final enocounter.

Protobob asks...

Dear S,

I'm having a hard time getting motivated about my personal goals. You've conquered Eternia, driven all your enemies beneath your feet, and still have time to do a letter column. Goodness! Any helpful hints on maximizing productivity?

Dear Protobob.

Nothing is achived without hard work. Even villiany requires motivation and commitment to the cause. Should you feel you are lacking in this I would be quite happy to offer you an internship at Snake Mountain. A few weeks living in fear under my roof should be enough to motivate anyone.

Well that is all for this week. Keep sending me your problems, they help to cheer me up after that muscle bound fool He-Man has ruined another one of my brilliant schemes.

Untill  next time.....