Huh-huh-hm-heh-huh!
I turn fifty-six this week. So, happy birthday to me... I guess?
Fifty-six is a weird number. When I hit fifty, it didn't faze me. Even fifty-five was just another day in May. But fifty-six... I don't know, that seems like a milestone. The beginning of old age. The beginning of the end, even. Cheery thought, huh?
Well, regardless of how I feel about my new numerical age, my birthday celebration is going to be a low-key affair, more so than usual because of the ongoing pandemic concerns. I'll probably go for a walk, spend some time tending my new herb garden (I'm finally keeping mint and basil alive!), get some takeout, have a few hazy IPAs, and watch a movie or two. It'll be nothing major, just another typical weekday.
And I'll probably be opening a few presents. If I get any, that is. Once I turned fifty, I made a point of telling everyone I don't need or expect gifts. When you're a little kid, maybe even when you're a starving college student... sure, it's natural to think that the adults in your life are going to give you stuff on your special day. But to me, once you reach a certain age, gifts aren't necessary. If you want to celebrate, invite your friends and family over and enjoy the time you spend with them. At this stage in life, experiences are more important to me than material stuff.
But if someone does feel like getting me a present, that's great. I'm always appreciative when a friend takes the time to do something nice for me. And if it's a "gift that keeps on giving", that's even better. By that, I mean something that I can enjoy over and over, instead of a doodad that winds up in a drawer or on a shelf. I love getting stuff that will potentially provide me with years of entertainment. Like books. Or CDs. Or Blu-Rays. Something that makes my days a little brighter. Something that continually entertains me.
Something like Beavis & Butt-head.
Back in my post-college days, I didn't have cable. Even though I was making good money, cable TV seemed like an incredibly expensive perk. So as a result, I missed out on a lot of TV in the early 90s. But thanks to my good friend Mark, one thing I didn't go without was MTV's animated sensation Beavis & Butt-head.
I get the impression that I forgot I had asked Mark to tape the show for me, because when he handed me a VHS cassette labeled "Beavis" a few days before my birthday, I remember being as surprised as I was delighted. And Mark went above and beyond... it wasn't just an episode or two, it was a full six hours long! Three hundred and sixty minutes of animated tomfoolery, all for me.
There had been nothing like Beavis & Butt-head on TV. It was so much more than just a cartoon involving two teen-age kids who get into rock-stupid shenanigans. There was a subtly clever amount of sophisticated wit in their sarcastic comments, like if Oscar Wilde had been raised as a latchkey kid in the Midwest suburbs. Whether they were washing poodles at the laundromat, playing baseball with live frogs, or torturing their good ol' boy neighbor Mr. Anderson, B&B delivered gut-busting laughs along with deep thoughts that stuck with you for days afterward.
But the thing that made the show unique was the video commentary. Transplanting the "talk to the screen" conceit of Mystery Science Theater 3000 conceit from movies to TV, B&B would snark on music videos twice an episode from the comfort of their disgustingly filthy couch.
B&B were equal-opportunity insulters. They used their ignorantly dull (yet rapier sharp) wit on musical targets of all levels of popularity. For every barb slung towards a weird or quirky band like Cycle Sluts From Hell, Army Of Lovers, or Ethyl Meatplow, the boys expended the same amount of lippy energy on big-name acts like the Beastie Boys, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Nine Inch Nails. It didn't matter if they liked the musicians or not... if the video was in any way dumb or weird, it got ripped.
And yet, in between all the Dread Zeppelin and Gerardo and Winger, I was stunned to discover that some of the songs they featured... were actually not too bad. In fact, the more I heard them, the more I liked them! Maybe it was the fact that the show featured only parts of the songs, and those parts were the most enjoyable? Or maybe they were just good songs to begin with? Whatever the reason, it wasn't long before I had fallen in love with a good dozen or more tunes featured on this dopey animated comedy show.
So here, in no particular order, as my birthday gift to you, are a few of my favorite Beavis & Butt-head discoveries.
WHITE ZOMBIE - "Thunder Kiss '65" (from La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1)
Just like Duran Duran was the first band that made it big in the US thanks to MTV, Rob Zombie's horror-drenched hard rock band went from obscurity to fame literally overnight, selling over 100,000 albums in the two weeks following the video's debut on the show. But as unique as White Zombie's pounding, bass-heavy sound was in the early 90s, Zombie's eye-melting visual aesthetic really set the band apart from the other musical acts clogging the MTV airwaves at the time. He combined his love of monster and luchador movies with a Southwestern rock-a-billy hobo vibe and a big dollop of sexuality (seriously, check out that raven-tressed dancer in the cowboy hat... heee-YIKES!) to create the mindtrip of a video below. But all the fancy visuals wouldn't amount to a thing if the song underneath wasn't just as cool. "Thunder Kiss '65" stomps, struts and swaggers with a metal edge that grabs hold of you and doesn't let go. Zombie went on to enjoy many more years of musical and box-office success, but it all started here, thank to Mike Judge's pair of animated delinquents.
NUDESWIRL - "F Sharp" (from Nudeswirl)
I have tiptoed around this subject since I started writing this column, but now I have to say it out loud: I cannot stand grunge. Just as indie rock was about to have its moment in the sun, suddenly "The Kids" decided that Nirvana's brand of faux-outrage was cooler, and thus began the demise of the music industry as we know it. It's been thirty years, and I'm still bitter that Kurt Cobain is more famous than Matthew Sweet. But the grunge movement wasn't all bad, because it produced this little gem. "F Sharp" takes off and never slows down. The way the chorus, such as it is, drops into that roaring minor key guitar riff, with the cymbals chaotically crashing above it and the bass rumbling under it, is sheer perfection. Yet as much as I love the song, over the years it's become the video that really trips my trigger. Talk about a time capsule! This clip ticks every box on the 90s video checklist. Depressing, run-down tenement setting? Check! Dimly lit, always in motion camerawork? Check! Heaps of debris blowing about in slow motion? Check! Thrift store flannel shirts and knit caps? Check! There may be no more 90s video than this one. And it's awesome.
ENUFF Z'NUFF - "Fly High Michelle" (from Enuff Z'nuff)
Everyone loves a good late 80s power ballad. Poison, Great White, and Guns 'N Roses all went to the top of the charts with sultry guitar-driven paeans to the women they loved. In a perfect world, Enuff Z'nuff's languid yet propulsive tune should have been included in that pantheon of classics as well. "Fly High Michelle" is one of those songs that stole my heart with its powerful chorus, lead singer Donnie Vie's voice climbing into an alto wail that practically drips with longing. What's funny is that, even though the band is dressed like any generic late 80s Sunset Strip hair metal band, Enuff Z'nuff wasn't into that scene at all. They were a regular rock band, but their management wanted them to capitalize on the glam style that was popular at the time. It may have aggravated the band, but I love this video. The primitive effects, the bright primary colors, the big puffy cloud stage... it all works with the song to create a dreamlike version of the timeless "boy loses girl" story. I wish I had a Michelle in my romantic past, just so I could sympathetically sing (and drink) along with the poor guy who lost his one true love.
BABES IN TOYLAND - "Bruise Violet" (from Fontanelle)
Whereas most of the grunge movement was young guys being pissed off just to be pissed off, there were certain bands that made it very clear that they were truly mad as hell. And no one radiated sheer rage like Kat Bjelland, the lead singer of Babes In Toyland. Her cavernous lipstick-rimmed maw, her wide-eyed serial killer stare, and her aggressive one-leg-forward stance behind the mic, all worked in concert with her powerful shriek-to-a-murmur vocals to musically pummel the listener. (Speaking as a hetero dude, all of that made her hot as hell, too. Those big bright eyes... heee-YIKES again!) "Bruise Violet" is an amazing song, taking the Pixies' stop/start loud/quiet template and injecting it with an extra dose of powerful white-knuckled rock energy. And I know what you're thinking, so before you say anything, just be aware that a young friend of the band named Courtney Love unapologetically stole Kat's baby doll look and never acknowledged it. Babes In Toyland were only together for a short time, but while they rocked, they frigging rocked hard.
TRASHCAN SINATRAS - "Hayfever" (from I've Seen Everything)
Brit Pop became a "thing" when Oasis' debut album Definitely Maybe stormed the UK charts in the middle of 1994. But for years before that seminal event, there had been lots of bands crafting lyrically witty, musically playful British pop. In fact, my favorite song of all time falls squarely in the Brit pop genre. As great as all that music was, however, it just never quite caught on here in the US. And that's a shame, because songs like this, tunes that are so catchy and so perfectly performed, deserve to be hits on both side of the pond. "Hayfever" bounces along in a bittersweet way, the jaunty piano groove complementing the subtle guitar work and the sentimental orchestral accents. The video utilizes a colorful room to host the action, yet it's still got that oddly shabby 90s video vibe. Both upbeat and melancholy at the same time, "Hayfever" is the Beavis & Butt-head discovery I've probably enjoyed the most over the years.
But wait, there's more! Over the course of its first first few seasons, Beavis & Butt-head continued to deliver the hits. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre vibe of Primus' "My Name Is Mud". The day-in-the-slacker-life story of King Missile's "Detachable Penis". The jittery Technicolor fever dream of the Butthole Surfers' "Who Was In My Room Last Night?". The majestic proto-rap-rock of Faith No More's "Epic". The quirky angular art pop of Ween's "Push Th' Little Daisies". (And that girl in the black dress... heee-YIKES thrice!) Beavis & Butt-head didn't just provide me with hours of hilarious sarcasm, it gifted me with an eclectic mix of fun additions to my music collection. To this day, these songs and more still pop up in my shuffled playlists on a weekly basis.
Dad installed new wainscoting in the harshly lit sex dungeon just in time for my fifth birthday party.
Beavis & Butt-head has become one of the best "presents", if you will, that I've ever received. Not only was it initially a semi-birthday gift from one of my best friends, the show went on to provide me with both humor and music that has continued to be a part of my life some thirty years later. There probably isn't a week that goes by that Mark and I don't trade some stupid meme or in-joke that harkens back to our B&B-loving days. He can mention that "we're all passengers on Spaceship Earth", or I can tell him I'm wearing an "althetic sip otter", and we become two adolescent kids, having a ball even though we're three thousand miles apart. That's some long-lasting gifting, right there!
Hey... I said "ball". Huh-huh-hm-heh-huh!
(Just before this article was published, I was surprised with early birthday gifts from my mother-in-law and my beloved wife Suzie! It’s not such a dull fifty-sixth birthday after all!)
BIO
Don Stroud is not the famous actor and world-class surfer of the same name. He is the non-famous California transplant who became an award-winning film editor and - finally - an award-winning screenwriter. He loves cats, sushi, comic books, movies, music, and Cherry Coke. What's that, dear? Oh yes: and his long-suffering wife. You can follow him on Twitter, where he pops up sporadically, at @DonStroud2.