SPOILER ALERT: SMOKING IS BAD FOR YOU!
Even though it has been known that smoking is bad for you for about half a century, organizations need to constantly remind children not to smoke. Apparently part of the problem is that there is not enough awareness. I don't profess to be an expert on the subject (being a smoker myself) but maybe kids think that carcinoma is cool. You ever think of that, Mister Smarty Pants Anti-Smoking Crusader? Well regardless of the facts, organizations have teamed up with the comic book industry to help battle the seemingly unending war with big tobacco.
Back in 1980, The Health Education Council of London teamed up with DC Comics to produce the 8-page epic titled Superman vs. Nick O'Teen. In it, Superman battles a cigarette themed villain while also teaching children the dangers of smoking.
The entire thing opens up with an ominous introduction to the villain of our piece, the dreaded Nick O'Teen. Take a look:
With an introduction like that, I'm expecting one menacing villain, one that will strike fear into the heart of all who beholds him. A yawning demonic face that belches plumes of carcinogenic smoke from a tar dripping maw with teeth made out of sharpened cigarettes. Instead, we get this....
Making a dog run away in fear doesn't make you evil, just an an asshole.
Nick O'Teen's whole thing is to lurk around in alleys looking for children so that he can give them cigarettes. He happens upon a young boy named Johnnie who is waiting in the alley for his friend Billy to show up. This gives Nick O'Teen the moment he has bee waiting for, offering children free packs of cigarettes. If we were passing out awards for peer pressure, Nick O'Teen wouldn't even get a participation trophy. He doesn't really do much other than saying it will help kids grow up fast. His sales pitch is ruined by the arrival of Billy to the nearby playground, prompting Johnnie to depart without even declining the offer.
Depending on where you live, that's a $15 value.
After totally botching his first sales pitch, Nick O'Teen hears children rollerskating in a vacant lot. Given that these children have chosen the worst place to try and rollerskate, it's no surprise that Nick O'Teen believes he can easily coerce the twelve children he happens upon. Meanwhile, at the Daily Planet, Clark Kent is getting a scoop on a news story when he spies Nick O'Teen in action with his x-ray vision.
It was a slow news day.
Naturally, Clark Kent pawns off this seven cat story on Lois Lane so he can change into Superman and stop this dastardly fiend. He arrives just before Nick O'Teen can light up a cigarette for one of the children. Superman then uses his super-breath to blow out the match and then does the sensible thing by throwing Nick O'Teen high into the air. He then tells the children that he doesn't smoke because his x-ray vision shows him the sort of damage that cigarettes cause to people's lungs Addressing the reader, Superman then asks children to help him in his campaign to stamp out Nick O'Teen.
But say yes to Martini and Rossi on the rocks.
Why This PSA Doesn't Work
First of all, billing Nick O'Teen as the villian, as Superman's "arch-nemesis" is a long reach. Tell this to Lex Luthor, Brianiac, and Darkseid. However, peddling smokes is less their bag. So I'll forgive it.
Second of all, Nick O'Teen needs to step up his peer pressure game. Telling kids that it will make them grow up faster is not the hard sell as he makes it. Also, anyone who has a career in preasuring kids to smoke should have a leather jacket, sunglasses and motorcycle. That's a scientific fact.
Also can we talk about how condescending Superman is in all this? You don't smoke because you know how bad it is for normal people? You'd be the only one who could smoke harmlessly. Also, I don't think x-raying people's lungs (without consent no less) is not healthy either. Lastly, nobody seems to care that Superman just murdered a guy. It doesn't seem as though Nick O'Teen has any powers other than nicotine stained teeth, so what happens to him when he hits the ground? Nobody seems to care.
Then again, maybe a burning cigarette reminds Superman of the destruction of his beloved planet Krypton. Way to trigger the Man of Tomorrow, smokers!